….You’d Have To Invent Them

A controversial title like this could only come from one writer.

If there weren’t any blacks you’d have to invent them was a one off, comedy drama, a made for television play from the pen of Johnny Speight.

Made by London Weekend Television for ITV it was originally screened in Black and White in 1968.

A dark, but comical play, whose theme was the unthinking perpetuation of religious and racial prejudice was given a revival in full colour with a new cast in 1974.


The setting is a cemetery peopled by a collection of recognisable types. The plot revolves around a young man who is ‘accused’ by a blind man of being black.

This opens an examination of race and religion, colour and creed, and death and disease. The play poses an eternally relevant question: is the desire for segregation an inherently human trait?





Ronald Radd (1968)
Leonard Rossiter (1974)
Laurence Hardy
Nerys Hughes
Richard Beckinsale
Vicki Michelle


Channel: ITV
Written By: Johnny Speight
Directed By: Charles Jarrott
Originally transmitted: 3rd March 1974

Where To See It

As you’d expect with a title like that it’s not on the repeat schedules or streaming services.  It was originally available on DVD from Network On Air, but now appears to have ben deleted.  Copies can still be found on Amazon

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